G - Goal?
R - Reality?
O - Objective?
W - Way Forward
Showing posts with label Self-Improvement Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Improvement Articles. Show all posts
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Characteristics & Habits of Successful People
Success in this sense, to me are people who are motivated, happy, driven, and don't allow themselves to get down easily especially with negative thoughts.
Exposure
These people are well travelled, lived abroad for a period of time and are very independent.
Mindset
- if you've noticed, they are always very positive and look at what can be done, what can be, the good of things.
Mindset on Money
- to them, opportunities are everywhere, having a minimum income, which may be a lot for a lower income family, is actually easily achievable for them.
Knowledge
- It seems that they know everything, in fact they know a little of everything to sustain interesting conversations.
Interest
- They have knowledge of their area of interest and like talking about it.
Activity
- They are constantly engaged in activities of their interest.
Being in the right company
- They surround themselves with like-minded people
The Top 10 Traits of Highly Successful People
1. They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too!
2. They are incredibly curious and eager to learn.
3. They network extraordinarily well.
4. They work on themselves and never quit!
5. They are extraordinarily creative.
6. They are self-reliant and take responsibility.
7. They are usually relaxed and keep their sense of perspective.
8. Extremely successful people have a gift for living in the present moment.
9. Living in the present gives them a unique ability to ‘look over the horizon’ and see the future.
10. Repeatedly successful people respond instantly!
Exposure
These people are well travelled, lived abroad for a period of time and are very independent.
Mindset
- if you've noticed, they are always very positive and look at what can be done, what can be, the good of things.
Mindset on Money
- to them, opportunities are everywhere, having a minimum income, which may be a lot for a lower income family, is actually easily achievable for them.
Knowledge
- It seems that they know everything, in fact they know a little of everything to sustain interesting conversations.
Interest
- They have knowledge of their area of interest and like talking about it.
Activity
- They are constantly engaged in activities of their interest.
Being in the right company
- They surround themselves with like-minded people
The Top 10 Traits of Highly Successful People
1. They work hard! Yes, they play hard, too!
They get up early, they rarely complain, they expect performance from others, but they expect extraordinary performance from themselves. Repeated, high-level success starts with a recognition that hard work pays off.
2. They are incredibly curious and eager to learn.
They study, ask questions and read — constantly! An interesting point, however: While most of them did well in school, the difference is that they apply or take advantage of what they learn. Repeated success is not about memorizing facts, it’s about being able to take information and create, build, or apply it in new and important ways. Successful people want to learn everything about everything!
3. They network extraordinarily well.
They know lots of people, and they know lots of different kinds of people. They listen to friends, neighbors, co-workers and bartenders. They don’t have to be ‘the life of the party,’ in fact many are quiet, even shy, but they value people and they value relationships. Successful people have a rolodex full of people who value their friendship and return their calls.
4. They work on themselves and never quit!
While the ‘over-night wonders’ become arrogant and quickly disappear. Really successful people work on their personality, their leadership skills, management skills, and every other detail of life. When a relationship or business deal goes sour, they assume they can learn from it and they expect to do better next time. Successful people don’t tolerate flaws; they fix them!
5. They are extraordinarily creative.
They go around asking, ‘Why not?’ They see new combinations, new possibilities, new opportunities and challenges where others see problems or limitations. They wake up in the middle of the night yelling, ‘I’ve got it!’ They ask for advice, try things out, consult experts and amateurs, always looking for a better, faster, cheaper solution. Successful people create stuff!
6. They are self-reliant and take responsibility.
Incredibly successful people don’t worry about blame, and they don’t waste time complaining. They make decisions and move on. Sometimes they are criticized for taking this to extremes — Jimmy Carter carried his own briefcase and a President ‘shouldn’t’ do that! Extremely successful people take the initiative and accept the responsibilities of success.
7. They are usually relaxed and keep their sense of perspective.
Even in times of stress or turmoil, highly successful people keep their balance, they know the value of timing, humor, and patience. They rarely panic or make decisions on impulse. Unusually successful people breath easily, ask the right questions, and make sound decisions, even in a crisis.
8. Extremely successful people have a gift for living in the present moment.
They know that ‘Now’ is the only time they can control. They have a ‘gift’ for looking people in the eye, listening to what is being said, enjoying a meal or fine wine, music or playing with a child. They never seem rushed, and they get a lot done! They take full advantage of each day. Successful people don’t waste time, they use it!
9. Living in the present gives them a unique ability to ‘look over the horizon’ and see the future.
They observe trends, notice changes, see shifts, and hear the nuances that others miss. A basketball player wearing Nikes is trivial, the neighbor kid wearing them is interesting, your own teenager demanding them is an investment opportunity! Extremely successful people live in the present, with one eye on the future!
10. Repeatedly successful people respond instantly!
When an investment isn’t working out, they sell. When they see an opportunity, they make the call. If an important relationship is cooling down, they take time to renew it. When technology or a new competitor or a change in the economic situation requires an adjustment, they are the first and quickest to respond. These traits work together in combination, giving repeatedly successful people a huge advantage. Because they are insatiable learners, they can respond wisely to change. Because their personal relationships are strong, they have good advisors, and a reserve of goodwill when things go bad. And finally, none of these traits are genetic! They can be learned! They are free and they are skills you can use. Start now!
Bernice L. Ross, Ph.D. and CEO, Author, Trainer, and Speaker, couples her expertise as a Master Certified Coach with over 30 years of real estate sales experience. She is the author of “Waging War on Real Estate’s Discounters” and “Who’s the Best Person to Sell My House?” Both are available online.Her new book, Real Estate Dough™, Your Recipe for Real Estate Success was the #1 selling book at the 2008 NAR conference. She is also the creator of an exciting new real estate simulation game, called Real Estate Dough™-Negotiation. Players have repeatedly reported that: “It’s way more fun than Monopoly®!”She can be reached at bernice@realestatecoach.com or visit her blog at www.LuxuryClues.com
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Accept that the World is an Unfair Place
And you will be able to accept, sometimes, it's just that way,
And perhaps be happier inside, with your philosophies of making people happy, seeing them smile, makes you feel good inside.
And perhaps be happier inside, with your philosophies of making people happy, seeing them smile, makes you feel good inside.
Monday, 24 May 2010
How to Decide How Much to Reveal About Yourself
A Penelope Trunk Article
People ask me all the time how I can be so honest about my life in my blog. They want to know how I can write about marriage, sex, abortions, or running out of money over and over again. It’s an endless list really, of the stuff I write about that people can't believe I’m writing about.
But each of you has a list of things in your life similar to that, it's just a list you don’t want to talk about. I’m not special—I don’t have more stuff that is difficult to talk about. I just have more difficulty not talking about difficult stuff.
This is why.
I'm going to start by telling you that I was at the World Trade Center when it fell. I was in a post-traumatic stress support group afterward. People were divided into groups of ten based on their experience at the site—how bad things were for you that day. I was in a group comprised mostly of people who narrowly escaped the building before it fell and, as they were running out of the building, were splattered by body parts from people who were jumping out of the building.
We had individual therapy as well. Here’s what my therapist said to me: “Your childhood was so terrible that your experience at the World Trade Center was nothing compared to what you experienced as a kid. Your post-traumatic stress therapy needs to focus on your childhood.”
That was the first time I really had a sense of how bad my childhood had been. I knew everyone in the world thought things at the World Trade Center were terrible. So this must mean that my childhood was really terrible.
I was 34.
When I was five, I knew something was not right. That’s when I started therapy. I was never totally sure why my parents were sending me.
When I was seven I knew something was not right because the neighbor came over to our house when my parents were smashing picture frames over each others’ head. The neighbor said to me and my little brother, “Come with me.”
Then my memories get blurry. The next thing I remember is my high school homeroom teacher. I skipped a day of school and then came to school with a black eye and a note from my dad that said I had been sick. She said that she was not accepting notes from my dad anymore. She said I could not come back to school the next time I miss a day unless I called the police.
I don’t remember what I thought when she said that. Except that I thought, “Does she know what’s going on at my house? How does she know? I never told her anything.”
I remember the next time my dad beat me up though. I called the police and they came. Like always. And my dad said nothing was wrong. Like always. And then the police started to leave. Like always.
But then I said, “Hold it. Wait. My teacher won’t let me back in school unless I get a note from you that says I called you.”
I don’t remember what else happened. I remember the police asking me if I want to leave. I remember my mom saying, “Yes. Please. Take her away. Please.”
I went to my grandma’s to live. I spent all of high school living at my grandma’s. The school social worker spent the rest of high school trying to convince me that my parents did something wrong. My grandma spent the rest of high school telling me that my parents were completely irresponsible. Except at family gatherings. When my parents were there, with my three brothers, and everyone pretended that everything was normal and that I did not live at my grandma’s.
I don’t remember very much. I went to college and spent my time trying to sort things out: abusive boyfriends, bulimia, anti-depressants, and cutting. Getting nearly straight-A’s for a lot of the time. I sorted very little out.
I went to a mental ward the summer of my senior year. My parents visited me. They told me they were happy I was in the mental ward. My extended family visited me and they did not mention my parents. No one talked about why I might be there. My parents were anxious and loud in the family meetings: Begging the doctors to keep me from going back to their house. But even the doctors could not quite figure out why I was there: I worked on my senior thesis, I was a model patient, and I started dating a doctor right after that.
After I graduated, I moved back to Chicago, where he lived and so did my parents. I couldn’t figure out how to support myself and there were so many opportunities for me to try nude modeling jobs. The doctor thought it was ridiculous. He thought I was too uptight to model. I said I probably was, but I wanted to try because it was such good money. I said they first test you out in a swimsuit.
He said, “Don’t you need some sample photos?”
I said, “Yeah. I have some,” and I pulled them out of my bag.
The doctor looked. He smiled. He said, “Who took them?”
I said, “My dad.”
The doctor flipped. He went nuts. He couldn’t believe it.
I was mostly surprised. I had no idea that my dad taking the photos was weird.
That I didn’t know it was weird made the doctor even more upset. I remember trying to figure out why I thought it was okay. Or why he thought it was not okay.
I was 22.
I didn’t tell anyone about the pictures. I started having nightmares about having sex with my parents. I started not being able to sleep. I didn’t tell anyone though. Because I thought I was crazy.
Then my dad visited me a few years later, when I lived in Los Angeles. He wanted to go camping. I went. I was so nervous about being alone with him that I read almost all of One Hundred Years of Solitude before I went into the tent.
Then he took off his clothes, down to his underwear, and snuggled up next to me, with his arms around me and his penis up against my back.
Then I knew.
Or I thought I knew.
I slept outside the tent. I didn’t talk the rest of the time. I don’t think he even noticed.
I know the street in Los Angeles we were parked on when I finally asked, “Dad, did you do sexually inappropriate things with me when I was younger?”
He said, “Yes.”
I had no memory of what, exactly, he did. I still have no memory of it. And I was scared to ask him more. I asked my mom the same question. She gave me the same answer.
Both parents have said they were sorry. But that is not my point. My point is that my childhood was ruined by secrets.
In hindsight, so many people kept the secret: my family, the police, teachers before my freshman year. Decades later, when I asked my high school friends what they thought of me in high school, two of them told me that everyone thought I was nuts coming to school beaten up so often.
I’m not kidding when I say that I thought I was keeping that a secret.
So what I’m telling you here is that I’m scared of secrets. I’m more scared of keeping things a secret than I am of letting people know that I’m having trouble. People can’t believe how I’m willing to write about my life here. But what I can’t believe is how much better my life could have been if it had not been full of secrets.
So today, when I have a natural instinct to keep something a secret, I think to myself, “Why? Why don’t I want people to know?” Because if I am living an honest life, and my eyes are open, and I’m trying my hardest to be good and kind, then anything I’m doing is fine to tell people.
That’s why I can write about what I write about on this blog.
And when you think you cannot tell someone something about yourself, ask yourself, “Really, why not?”
People ask me all the time how I can be so honest about my life in my blog. They want to know how I can write about marriage, sex, abortions, or running out of money over and over again. It’s an endless list really, of the stuff I write about that people can't believe I’m writing about.
But each of you has a list of things in your life similar to that, it's just a list you don’t want to talk about. I’m not special—I don’t have more stuff that is difficult to talk about. I just have more difficulty not talking about difficult stuff.
This is why.
I'm going to start by telling you that I was at the World Trade Center when it fell. I was in a post-traumatic stress support group afterward. People were divided into groups of ten based on their experience at the site—how bad things were for you that day. I was in a group comprised mostly of people who narrowly escaped the building before it fell and, as they were running out of the building, were splattered by body parts from people who were jumping out of the building.
We had individual therapy as well. Here’s what my therapist said to me: “Your childhood was so terrible that your experience at the World Trade Center was nothing compared to what you experienced as a kid. Your post-traumatic stress therapy needs to focus on your childhood.”
That was the first time I really had a sense of how bad my childhood had been. I knew everyone in the world thought things at the World Trade Center were terrible. So this must mean that my childhood was really terrible.
I was 34.
When I was five, I knew something was not right. That’s when I started therapy. I was never totally sure why my parents were sending me.
When I was seven I knew something was not right because the neighbor came over to our house when my parents were smashing picture frames over each others’ head. The neighbor said to me and my little brother, “Come with me.”
Then my memories get blurry. The next thing I remember is my high school homeroom teacher. I skipped a day of school and then came to school with a black eye and a note from my dad that said I had been sick. She said that she was not accepting notes from my dad anymore. She said I could not come back to school the next time I miss a day unless I called the police.
I don’t remember what I thought when she said that. Except that I thought, “Does she know what’s going on at my house? How does she know? I never told her anything.”
I remember the next time my dad beat me up though. I called the police and they came. Like always. And my dad said nothing was wrong. Like always. And then the police started to leave. Like always.
But then I said, “Hold it. Wait. My teacher won’t let me back in school unless I get a note from you that says I called you.”
I don’t remember what else happened. I remember the police asking me if I want to leave. I remember my mom saying, “Yes. Please. Take her away. Please.”
I went to my grandma’s to live. I spent all of high school living at my grandma’s. The school social worker spent the rest of high school trying to convince me that my parents did something wrong. My grandma spent the rest of high school telling me that my parents were completely irresponsible. Except at family gatherings. When my parents were there, with my three brothers, and everyone pretended that everything was normal and that I did not live at my grandma’s.
I don’t remember very much. I went to college and spent my time trying to sort things out: abusive boyfriends, bulimia, anti-depressants, and cutting. Getting nearly straight-A’s for a lot of the time. I sorted very little out.
I went to a mental ward the summer of my senior year. My parents visited me. They told me they were happy I was in the mental ward. My extended family visited me and they did not mention my parents. No one talked about why I might be there. My parents were anxious and loud in the family meetings: Begging the doctors to keep me from going back to their house. But even the doctors could not quite figure out why I was there: I worked on my senior thesis, I was a model patient, and I started dating a doctor right after that.
After I graduated, I moved back to Chicago, where he lived and so did my parents. I couldn’t figure out how to support myself and there were so many opportunities for me to try nude modeling jobs. The doctor thought it was ridiculous. He thought I was too uptight to model. I said I probably was, but I wanted to try because it was such good money. I said they first test you out in a swimsuit.
He said, “Don’t you need some sample photos?”
I said, “Yeah. I have some,” and I pulled them out of my bag.
The doctor looked. He smiled. He said, “Who took them?”
I said, “My dad.”
The doctor flipped. He went nuts. He couldn’t believe it.
I was mostly surprised. I had no idea that my dad taking the photos was weird.
That I didn’t know it was weird made the doctor even more upset. I remember trying to figure out why I thought it was okay. Or why he thought it was not okay.
I was 22.
I didn’t tell anyone about the pictures. I started having nightmares about having sex with my parents. I started not being able to sleep. I didn’t tell anyone though. Because I thought I was crazy.
Then my dad visited me a few years later, when I lived in Los Angeles. He wanted to go camping. I went. I was so nervous about being alone with him that I read almost all of One Hundred Years of Solitude before I went into the tent.
Then he took off his clothes, down to his underwear, and snuggled up next to me, with his arms around me and his penis up against my back.
Then I knew.
Or I thought I knew.
I slept outside the tent. I didn’t talk the rest of the time. I don’t think he even noticed.
I know the street in Los Angeles we were parked on when I finally asked, “Dad, did you do sexually inappropriate things with me when I was younger?”
He said, “Yes.”
I had no memory of what, exactly, he did. I still have no memory of it. And I was scared to ask him more. I asked my mom the same question. She gave me the same answer.
Both parents have said they were sorry. But that is not my point. My point is that my childhood was ruined by secrets.
In hindsight, so many people kept the secret: my family, the police, teachers before my freshman year. Decades later, when I asked my high school friends what they thought of me in high school, two of them told me that everyone thought I was nuts coming to school beaten up so often.
I’m not kidding when I say that I thought I was keeping that a secret.
So what I’m telling you here is that I’m scared of secrets. I’m more scared of keeping things a secret than I am of letting people know that I’m having trouble. People can’t believe how I’m willing to write about my life here. But what I can’t believe is how much better my life could have been if it had not been full of secrets.
So today, when I have a natural instinct to keep something a secret, I think to myself, “Why? Why don’t I want people to know?” Because if I am living an honest life, and my eyes are open, and I’m trying my hardest to be good and kind, then anything I’m doing is fine to tell people.
That’s why I can write about what I write about on this blog.
And when you think you cannot tell someone something about yourself, ask yourself, “Really, why not?”
How to figure out what you should be doing with your life
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/01/15/how-to-figure-out-what-you-should-be-doing-with-your-life/
A Penelope Trunk Article
There is no other way to figure out where you belong than to make time to do it and give yourself space to fail, give yourself time to be lost. If you think you have to get it right the first time, you won't have the space really to investigate, and you'll convince yourself that something is right when it's not. And then you'll have a quarterlife crisis when you realize that you lied to yourself so you could feel stable instead of investigating. Here’s how to avoid that outcome.
1. Take time to figure out what you love to do.
When I graduated from college, I was shocked to find out that I just spent 18 years getting an education and the only jobs offered to me sucked. Everything was some version of creating a new filing system for someone who is important.
Often bad situations bring on our most creative solutions. And this was one of those times: I asked myself, “What do I want to do most in the world, if I could do anything?” I decided it was to play volleyball, so I went to Los Angeles to figure out how to play on the professional beach circuit.
I spent my days on the courts, and late nights at the gym, and in between, I worked odd jobs in bookstores. And then I realized that the other thing I wanted to do was read. I had been so stifled in school being told what to read all the time. It was thrilling to be able to read whatever I wanted.
I wasn't making very much money. Sometimes I couldn't pay rent, and my landlord hated me. And sometimes I couldn't afford to wash my clothes and I pretended that bikinis never get dirty. But, in fact, you really don't need much money to figure out what you love to do, you just need time and space and a willingness to keep yourself busy until something sticks.
2. Take time to figure out what you can get paid for.
It took me a few years to navigate the arcane hierarchy of Southern California beach volleyball, but I finally played on the professional tour. For a summer. And what I found was that I am not nearly as competitive as the top players. I was, at one point, ranked 17, but I can tell you that I never cared as much about my rank as the other women.
What I did excel at, though, was winning sponsors, which, on some level, is what professional sports is all about anyway. I always had better sponsors even than women higher than me in the ranks, and I won partners and trainers by dint of my ability to attract sponsors.
But the truth about professional volleyball is that it is a really tough life. The eight hours a day on the beach starts getting old, and so do the Budweiser commercials I did (totally not fun) to manage to scrape together enough money to support myself.
So I thought to myself: Who is using the skills I have to make money? And I landed on marketing. And I had this boyfriend who was going to hire someone to do marketing at his Internet startup, so I volunteered to do it for free, to get something on my resume. And then I got a job.
3. Watch people around you to figure out who is happy.
I ended up having a pretty big job at a Fortune 500 company running their web site. Don't get me wrong. It was the earliest days of the Internet, and it actually took more people to redesign my blog recently than it did to launch that Fortune 500 site in the early 90’s.
But anyway, I started climbing the ladder and tons of people wanted to mentor me, to help me get to where they were. And they told me they were happy, but when I watched them, day in and day out, I realized that the people at the top of the ladder were not nearly as happy as I had expected them to be. They tucked their kids into bed from their phones at their desk. They were overdressed constantly and they had hair-trigger tempers for topics that seemed inconsequential to me.
So I went to where coolness seemed to be: At startups.
Now that I'm on my third startup, I can tell you with certainty that if you looked at my life you would not see that I am happy. Running a startup is really high risk and really difficult, and entrepreneurs work longer hours than anyone else. But I'm almost always there to eat diner with my kids, because I control my own hours.
So the final step of finding out where you should be is looking at everyone's life with a clear lens. Adult life is really hard. Finding out who we are, and finding someone to share our life with, and having kids and still having a life, and being able to pay for all of that: Impossible, really.
So you look around and see who is doing what part of that well. And you pick the sacrifices that they made. Because no life is perfect, but all lives have some things to offer. Be clear on what you're choosing and what you're giving up, and don't pick anyone's life if they tell you they have everything: they're lying.
A Penelope Trunk Article
There is no other way to figure out where you belong than to make time to do it and give yourself space to fail, give yourself time to be lost. If you think you have to get it right the first time, you won't have the space really to investigate, and you'll convince yourself that something is right when it's not. And then you'll have a quarterlife crisis when you realize that you lied to yourself so you could feel stable instead of investigating. Here’s how to avoid that outcome.
1. Take time to figure out what you love to do.
When I graduated from college, I was shocked to find out that I just spent 18 years getting an education and the only jobs offered to me sucked. Everything was some version of creating a new filing system for someone who is important.
Often bad situations bring on our most creative solutions. And this was one of those times: I asked myself, “What do I want to do most in the world, if I could do anything?” I decided it was to play volleyball, so I went to Los Angeles to figure out how to play on the professional beach circuit.
I spent my days on the courts, and late nights at the gym, and in between, I worked odd jobs in bookstores. And then I realized that the other thing I wanted to do was read. I had been so stifled in school being told what to read all the time. It was thrilling to be able to read whatever I wanted.
I wasn't making very much money. Sometimes I couldn't pay rent, and my landlord hated me. And sometimes I couldn't afford to wash my clothes and I pretended that bikinis never get dirty. But, in fact, you really don't need much money to figure out what you love to do, you just need time and space and a willingness to keep yourself busy until something sticks.
2. Take time to figure out what you can get paid for.
It took me a few years to navigate the arcane hierarchy of Southern California beach volleyball, but I finally played on the professional tour. For a summer. And what I found was that I am not nearly as competitive as the top players. I was, at one point, ranked 17, but I can tell you that I never cared as much about my rank as the other women.
What I did excel at, though, was winning sponsors, which, on some level, is what professional sports is all about anyway. I always had better sponsors even than women higher than me in the ranks, and I won partners and trainers by dint of my ability to attract sponsors.
But the truth about professional volleyball is that it is a really tough life. The eight hours a day on the beach starts getting old, and so do the Budweiser commercials I did (totally not fun) to manage to scrape together enough money to support myself.
So I thought to myself: Who is using the skills I have to make money? And I landed on marketing. And I had this boyfriend who was going to hire someone to do marketing at his Internet startup, so I volunteered to do it for free, to get something on my resume. And then I got a job.
3. Watch people around you to figure out who is happy.
I ended up having a pretty big job at a Fortune 500 company running their web site. Don't get me wrong. It was the earliest days of the Internet, and it actually took more people to redesign my blog recently than it did to launch that Fortune 500 site in the early 90’s.
But anyway, I started climbing the ladder and tons of people wanted to mentor me, to help me get to where they were. And they told me they were happy, but when I watched them, day in and day out, I realized that the people at the top of the ladder were not nearly as happy as I had expected them to be. They tucked their kids into bed from their phones at their desk. They were overdressed constantly and they had hair-trigger tempers for topics that seemed inconsequential to me.
So I went to where coolness seemed to be: At startups.
Now that I'm on my third startup, I can tell you with certainty that if you looked at my life you would not see that I am happy. Running a startup is really high risk and really difficult, and entrepreneurs work longer hours than anyone else. But I'm almost always there to eat diner with my kids, because I control my own hours.
So the final step of finding out where you should be is looking at everyone's life with a clear lens. Adult life is really hard. Finding out who we are, and finding someone to share our life with, and having kids and still having a life, and being able to pay for all of that: Impossible, really.
So you look around and see who is doing what part of that well. And you pick the sacrifices that they made. Because no life is perfect, but all lives have some things to offer. Be clear on what you're choosing and what you're giving up, and don't pick anyone's life if they tell you they have everything: they're lying.
How to know if you'll be good at sales
A Penelope Trunk
It’s clear to me that emotional intelligence is the most important skill for success in adult life. And the consummate career application of emotional intelligence is the sales department. So I’m fascinated by sales.
I used to think I’m not that good at sales. For example, I’m an open book—I have very little ability to bluff or play my hand close to my—actually, what is that expression? I don’t even know the expression.
But then, when I told one of my mentors that I’m not good at sales, he said, “Of course you’re good at sales. You’ve gotten three companies funded.” He’s right. I wanted to take back all the times I said I’m not good at sales. The thing is, I have a specific talent in this department: selling ideas.
I have gotten companies funded when they were still just philosophies about how a market will move, what the trends are, and what ideas will work. I have yet to raise a later round of funding, where the company is selling actual products or services with me raising money to sell them faster.
I’m also great at the consultative sale. I’m great at meeting someone who wants to think in new ways, and tossing some ideas back and forth and then going to lunch, or yoga, or commenting on each others’ blogs. I connect easily on ideas, and can close a sale there because the idea exchange is so rewarding.
There’s another kind of salesperson, though. The kind that can hit numbers, close tough deals with demanding customers, and compete effectively against the most cutthroat of their peers.
I am fascinated by this type of person. I don’t meet them a lot, which makes me nervous. Because I want to be more like them, and there’s a great piece by Clive Thompson in the New York Times about the Framingham Heart Study that shows that you become more like the people you hang out with. And it started to worry me that I don’t like hanging out with competitive types.
I know, you’re thinking, WHAT? But I’m never about getting the most money or getting up the ladder the fastest. I’m always about getting what I want to do when I want to do it—having the work that makes me happiest feeding the life that makes me happiest. Frankly, that is so much work for me that I don’t have any energy left to notice who is winning.
But it worries me. It worries me that in general, when I’m in hand-to-hand combat—on the volleyball court, in divorce court, in Ryan Healy’s office—I tend to give in so that the whole process ends sooner and I can get back to whatever is going on in my head. I always want to get back to thinking about ideas. And that desire makes me not the strongest competitor.
When I was flying two or three times a week, I sat beside a lot of sales guys. And it is mostly guys. First Class is always full of men when you travel between smaller cities, and the odds of sitting next to someone in sales on any late-in-the-day, weeknight flight, is very high from any city.
I talked with sales guys a lot and mostly I learned that I don’t think like they do.
So it should come as no surprise that my company just had to hire one of these sales guys: Justin Rheinhardt. That’s his name. I loved hiring him because I knew my days of having to be a cutthroat closer were over. Justin is that. But also I loved hiring him because I learned so much from him in just two weeks.
For example, Justin was in recruiting, which makes sense because we are selling services that help recruiters. So I asked him why he wants to do sales instead of recruiting.
And he told me that if you’re a sales guy, you can’t be a recruiter, because good recruiters really care about placing the candidate where they fit. Good recruiters build relationships to help people over a long period of time—helping that person build their career on a path that works for them.
Justin just wants to sell, so he was closing instead of counseling. For Justin, the rush of the close is what drives him. Which I totally believe, because I don’t really have that. I have the rush of a good idea.
I talked to Richard Goldman, COO of Birkman International, a company that helps businesses make intelligent hires by using the Birkman Method for personality assessments. Goldman says, “If you’re a great team player, you probably don’t belong in sales. Salespeople are in it for themselves. They eat what they kill.”
I asked Goldman if he thought I could develop these skills, and he says that our underlying needs are set by age five or six, and our usual behaviors are set by age 22.
So it’s pretty clear to me that I’m not a salesperson, and I’m not an eat-what-I-kill sales person, plus I’m not going to become one either. I’m more of a convince-someone-else-to-go-out-and-do-the-killing person.
Also, Justin has a rule that you make your calls list at the end of the day, so that you can start calling right away in the morning. That calling part seems really hard to me. You have to be really driven to kill to be able to sit down and make calls every day.
But I know that if you want to be an idea person, you should sit down and write an idea first thing in the morning. And now, come to think of it, maybe you can tell who you are by what you require yourself to do first, every day.
It’s clear to me that emotional intelligence is the most important skill for success in adult life. And the consummate career application of emotional intelligence is the sales department. So I’m fascinated by sales.
I used to think I’m not that good at sales. For example, I’m an open book—I have very little ability to bluff or play my hand close to my—actually, what is that expression? I don’t even know the expression.
But then, when I told one of my mentors that I’m not good at sales, he said, “Of course you’re good at sales. You’ve gotten three companies funded.” He’s right. I wanted to take back all the times I said I’m not good at sales. The thing is, I have a specific talent in this department: selling ideas.
I have gotten companies funded when they were still just philosophies about how a market will move, what the trends are, and what ideas will work. I have yet to raise a later round of funding, where the company is selling actual products or services with me raising money to sell them faster.
I’m also great at the consultative sale. I’m great at meeting someone who wants to think in new ways, and tossing some ideas back and forth and then going to lunch, or yoga, or commenting on each others’ blogs. I connect easily on ideas, and can close a sale there because the idea exchange is so rewarding.
There’s another kind of salesperson, though. The kind that can hit numbers, close tough deals with demanding customers, and compete effectively against the most cutthroat of their peers.
I am fascinated by this type of person. I don’t meet them a lot, which makes me nervous. Because I want to be more like them, and there’s a great piece by Clive Thompson in the New York Times about the Framingham Heart Study that shows that you become more like the people you hang out with. And it started to worry me that I don’t like hanging out with competitive types.
I know, you’re thinking, WHAT? But I’m never about getting the most money or getting up the ladder the fastest. I’m always about getting what I want to do when I want to do it—having the work that makes me happiest feeding the life that makes me happiest. Frankly, that is so much work for me that I don’t have any energy left to notice who is winning.
But it worries me. It worries me that in general, when I’m in hand-to-hand combat—on the volleyball court, in divorce court, in Ryan Healy’s office—I tend to give in so that the whole process ends sooner and I can get back to whatever is going on in my head. I always want to get back to thinking about ideas. And that desire makes me not the strongest competitor.
When I was flying two or three times a week, I sat beside a lot of sales guys. And it is mostly guys. First Class is always full of men when you travel between smaller cities, and the odds of sitting next to someone in sales on any late-in-the-day, weeknight flight, is very high from any city.
I talked with sales guys a lot and mostly I learned that I don’t think like they do.
So it should come as no surprise that my company just had to hire one of these sales guys: Justin Rheinhardt. That’s his name. I loved hiring him because I knew my days of having to be a cutthroat closer were over. Justin is that. But also I loved hiring him because I learned so much from him in just two weeks.
For example, Justin was in recruiting, which makes sense because we are selling services that help recruiters. So I asked him why he wants to do sales instead of recruiting.
And he told me that if you’re a sales guy, you can’t be a recruiter, because good recruiters really care about placing the candidate where they fit. Good recruiters build relationships to help people over a long period of time—helping that person build their career on a path that works for them.
Justin just wants to sell, so he was closing instead of counseling. For Justin, the rush of the close is what drives him. Which I totally believe, because I don’t really have that. I have the rush of a good idea.
I talked to Richard Goldman, COO of Birkman International, a company that helps businesses make intelligent hires by using the Birkman Method for personality assessments. Goldman says, “If you’re a great team player, you probably don’t belong in sales. Salespeople are in it for themselves. They eat what they kill.”
I asked Goldman if he thought I could develop these skills, and he says that our underlying needs are set by age five or six, and our usual behaviors are set by age 22.
So it’s pretty clear to me that I’m not a salesperson, and I’m not an eat-what-I-kill sales person, plus I’m not going to become one either. I’m more of a convince-someone-else-to-go-out-and-do-the-killing person.
Also, Justin has a rule that you make your calls list at the end of the day, so that you can start calling right away in the morning. That calling part seems really hard to me. You have to be really driven to kill to be able to sit down and make calls every day.
But I know that if you want to be an idea person, you should sit down and write an idea first thing in the morning. And now, come to think of it, maybe you can tell who you are by what you require yourself to do first, every day.
How to edit your resume like a professional resume writer
A Penelope Trunk Article
It's very hard to write your own resume because a resume is a macro view of your life, but you live your life at the micro level, obsessing about daily details that have no bearing on your resume. So I recommend to a lot of people that they hire someone to help them. After all, spending money on a resume writer is one of the few expenditures that will have good return right away.
But some of you will be able to do a decent job rewriting your resume on your own. The first thing you'll have to do is make some mental shifts. You need to rethink the goals of a resume, and rethink the rules of a resume in order to approach the project like the best of the resume professionals.
Here are three ideas that guide professional resume writers and should guide you as well:
1. Don't focus on your responsibilities, focus on what you achieved.
A resume is not your life story. No one cares. If your life story were so interesting, you'd have a book deal. The only things that should be on your resume are achievements. Anyone can do their job, but only a small percentage of the population can do their job well, wherever they go.
The best way to show that you did your job well is from achievements. The best achievement is a promotion.It is an objective way to show that you impressed the people you work for. The next best way to show objective measures is to present quantified achievements.
Most people do not think in terms of quantified achievements when they are in the job, but on the resume, that's the only part of the job that matters. No one can see that you were a "good team player" on your resume unless you can say "established a team to solve problem x and increased sales x%" or "joined under-performing team and helped that team beat production delivery dates by three weeks."
If you are only putting achievements on your resume, you are going to be hard-pressed to fill a whole page. That's okay. Anything on your resume that is not an achievement is wasting space. Because you don't know what a hiring manager will look at first—and if you have ten good achievements and three mediocre lines about your life story, the hiring manager may only read those three lines—so remove them.
2. Don't make your resume a moral statement; it's a marketing document.
Think about when a company announced the launch of their product. First of all, the product is not done. Second of all, it has bugs. And third, the company is probably showing photos of prototypes and the real thing will look different.
All this stuff is fine. It's accepted practice for marketing. The company will tell you that they are doing their best to get you the information you want in the way they think is best for letting you know what your consumer options are.
You need to take the same approach with your resume, because a resume is a marketing document. The best marketing documents show the product in the very best light, which means using whatever most outrageous tactics possible to make you look good. As long as you are not lying, you will be fine.
Here's an example: You join a software company that just launched a product and the product had so many problems that they had to hire someone to handle the calls. You start doing the tech support, and you work tons of overtime because the calls are so backed up. You clean up the phone queue and then you start taking long lunches because there's not a lot to do, and then you start job hunting because the job is boring.
Here's how you summarize this job on your resume: Assumed management responsibility for tech support and decreased call volume 20%.
How do you know 20%? Who knows? It was probably more. But you can't quantify exactly, so err on the safe side. But if you just say "Did tech support for a software company" no one knows you did a good job.
There is a fine art of almost-lying-but-not-lying on a resume. You need to talk about it a lot in order to know where you fall on the spectrum. Here is a sample of my own family discussions about what is lying and what isn't.
3. Don't give everything away in the resume.
The idea of a resume is to get someone to call you. Talk with you on the phone. Offer you an interview. So a resume is like a first date. You only show your best stuff and you don't show it all.
Some people dump everything they can think of onto their resume, but a resume is not the only chance you'll have to sell yourself. In fact the interview is where the hard-core selling takes place. So you only put your very best achievements on the resume. Sure, there will be other questions people will want answers to, but that will make them call you. And that's good, right?
For those of you who can't bear to take off the twenty extra lines on your resume because you think the interviewer has to see every single thing about you right away, consider that we have statistics to show that people don't want to know everything up front. It does not make for a good match. Of people who got married, only 3% had sex on the first date.
It's very hard to write your own resume because a resume is a macro view of your life, but you live your life at the micro level, obsessing about daily details that have no bearing on your resume. So I recommend to a lot of people that they hire someone to help them. After all, spending money on a resume writer is one of the few expenditures that will have good return right away.
But some of you will be able to do a decent job rewriting your resume on your own. The first thing you'll have to do is make some mental shifts. You need to rethink the goals of a resume, and rethink the rules of a resume in order to approach the project like the best of the resume professionals.
Here are three ideas that guide professional resume writers and should guide you as well:
1. Don't focus on your responsibilities, focus on what you achieved.
A resume is not your life story. No one cares. If your life story were so interesting, you'd have a book deal. The only things that should be on your resume are achievements. Anyone can do their job, but only a small percentage of the population can do their job well, wherever they go.
The best way to show that you did your job well is from achievements. The best achievement is a promotion.It is an objective way to show that you impressed the people you work for. The next best way to show objective measures is to present quantified achievements.
Most people do not think in terms of quantified achievements when they are in the job, but on the resume, that's the only part of the job that matters. No one can see that you were a "good team player" on your resume unless you can say "established a team to solve problem x and increased sales x%" or "joined under-performing team and helped that team beat production delivery dates by three weeks."
If you are only putting achievements on your resume, you are going to be hard-pressed to fill a whole page. That's okay. Anything on your resume that is not an achievement is wasting space. Because you don't know what a hiring manager will look at first—and if you have ten good achievements and three mediocre lines about your life story, the hiring manager may only read those three lines—so remove them.
2. Don't make your resume a moral statement; it's a marketing document.
Think about when a company announced the launch of their product. First of all, the product is not done. Second of all, it has bugs. And third, the company is probably showing photos of prototypes and the real thing will look different.
All this stuff is fine. It's accepted practice for marketing. The company will tell you that they are doing their best to get you the information you want in the way they think is best for letting you know what your consumer options are.
You need to take the same approach with your resume, because a resume is a marketing document. The best marketing documents show the product in the very best light, which means using whatever most outrageous tactics possible to make you look good. As long as you are not lying, you will be fine.
Here's an example: You join a software company that just launched a product and the product had so many problems that they had to hire someone to handle the calls. You start doing the tech support, and you work tons of overtime because the calls are so backed up. You clean up the phone queue and then you start taking long lunches because there's not a lot to do, and then you start job hunting because the job is boring.
Here's how you summarize this job on your resume: Assumed management responsibility for tech support and decreased call volume 20%.
How do you know 20%? Who knows? It was probably more. But you can't quantify exactly, so err on the safe side. But if you just say "Did tech support for a software company" no one knows you did a good job.
There is a fine art of almost-lying-but-not-lying on a resume. You need to talk about it a lot in order to know where you fall on the spectrum. Here is a sample of my own family discussions about what is lying and what isn't.
3. Don't give everything away in the resume.
The idea of a resume is to get someone to call you. Talk with you on the phone. Offer you an interview. So a resume is like a first date. You only show your best stuff and you don't show it all.
Some people dump everything they can think of onto their resume, but a resume is not the only chance you'll have to sell yourself. In fact the interview is where the hard-core selling takes place. So you only put your very best achievements on the resume. Sure, there will be other questions people will want answers to, but that will make them call you. And that's good, right?
For those of you who can't bear to take off the twenty extra lines on your resume because you think the interviewer has to see every single thing about you right away, consider that we have statistics to show that people don't want to know everything up front. It does not make for a good match. Of people who got married, only 3% had sex on the first date.
How to Beat the System to get a Great Job
A Penelope Trunk Article
When you want to get a new job, don’t look at your resume to see what you could get. Instead, take time to build a resume that meets the requirements of the jobs you want. This doesn’t mean using keywords that are in the job description.
That is not going to work. Instead, look at the types of experience that are required to get the job you want, and then get yourself that experience.
1. Make up a project for yourself
You don’t need to be paid in order to put something on your resume. A resume is about experience, not income. So invent projects for yourself, and do them, and make sure you execute exactly what you need in order to put a bullet on your resume. For example, if you need to be able to say you executed national campaigns, then do one.
Jessica Goodman is a great example of this. She just graduated from the University of Denver and she’s looking for a job in public relations or marketing. Inevitably, the job she lands will involve social media. Because that’s where both industries are headed.
In the meantime, Jessica created a project for herself that showed her college counseling office why they should be teaching students how to job hunt with social media. (And she wrote a blog post about it.) This is a great project because whether or not the college does anything with it, Jessica conceived and executed a project to promote an organization-wide adoption of social media tools.
2. Work for free
You don’t need permission to get the experience you need to get the job you want. And you don’t need to be paid to do every piece of work. It’s true that if you work for free all the time, people will not value your work. And you’ll have to marry very rich, or starve. But work for free sometimes, when you can gain important experience that you can leverage to get high paying work.
The way I got a nationally syndicated column was to write my column for free for two years. That’s right. Every week for two years. And the way I got my first online marketing job was to nag my boyfriend for weeks and weeks until he let me do a marketing project for his company for free. (I did it for a project that involved U2, and I swear, that was my golden bullet for five years of interviews. Who doesn’t like to talk about U2?)
3. Use other peoples’ resumes to build yours
If you aim high – to jump a few levels in your field, or to switch fields but skip the entry level – then it’s sometimes hard to conceive of what a resume should look like for those jobs. The best way to make sure you have the right resume is to find people online who have already had the job you want. Look at their resume. Look at the bullet points they’ve collected.
Then transfer those bullets to your resume and start figuring out how to make them true for you. It’s focused skill-building and it’s very smart – you gain the exact experience you need to get the job you want. So much of what we accomplish at work is not relevant to the next job we want. It’s hard to control what you do in your job (but you should try). However, you can control the work you do for free. So start with the bullet you want to write for that work, and then maneuver yourself backwards into the work.
4. You don’t have to do everything perfectly, just try
It’s very hard to do something outside of what you know you're good at. Usually, the first time is extremely difficult, which is why I suggest you do it for free. Give yourself freedom to execute on a plan to get that special bullet on your resume even if the execution is not great. Perfection is totally overrated, and just having the guts to make an effort is totally underrated.
The first speech I ever gave was at a business school. It was a disaster. I thought it was supposed to be ten minutes and it was slated for fifty minutes. The speech sucked. But when it came time to write the bullet, I could say that I “give speeches at business schools.” This opened the door for me to give speeches at lots of schools. (And, good news, they have all gone really well since then. Here’s one.)
5. Have patience
You will need at least a few months to envision the resume that will land you the job you want, and then gather the bullets you need for that. It requires planning, and commitment, and a leap of faith – in yourself.
But really, all three of those characteristics make a great employee, so maybe that will be a bullet for your resume, too.
When you want to get a new job, don’t look at your resume to see what you could get. Instead, take time to build a resume that meets the requirements of the jobs you want. This doesn’t mean using keywords that are in the job description.
That is not going to work. Instead, look at the types of experience that are required to get the job you want, and then get yourself that experience.
1. Make up a project for yourself
You don’t need to be paid in order to put something on your resume. A resume is about experience, not income. So invent projects for yourself, and do them, and make sure you execute exactly what you need in order to put a bullet on your resume. For example, if you need to be able to say you executed national campaigns, then do one.
Jessica Goodman is a great example of this. She just graduated from the University of Denver and she’s looking for a job in public relations or marketing. Inevitably, the job she lands will involve social media. Because that’s where both industries are headed.
In the meantime, Jessica created a project for herself that showed her college counseling office why they should be teaching students how to job hunt with social media. (And she wrote a blog post about it.) This is a great project because whether or not the college does anything with it, Jessica conceived and executed a project to promote an organization-wide adoption of social media tools.
2. Work for free
You don’t need permission to get the experience you need to get the job you want. And you don’t need to be paid to do every piece of work. It’s true that if you work for free all the time, people will not value your work. And you’ll have to marry very rich, or starve. But work for free sometimes, when you can gain important experience that you can leverage to get high paying work.
The way I got a nationally syndicated column was to write my column for free for two years. That’s right. Every week for two years. And the way I got my first online marketing job was to nag my boyfriend for weeks and weeks until he let me do a marketing project for his company for free. (I did it for a project that involved U2, and I swear, that was my golden bullet for five years of interviews. Who doesn’t like to talk about U2?)
3. Use other peoples’ resumes to build yours
If you aim high – to jump a few levels in your field, or to switch fields but skip the entry level – then it’s sometimes hard to conceive of what a resume should look like for those jobs. The best way to make sure you have the right resume is to find people online who have already had the job you want. Look at their resume. Look at the bullet points they’ve collected.
Then transfer those bullets to your resume and start figuring out how to make them true for you. It’s focused skill-building and it’s very smart – you gain the exact experience you need to get the job you want. So much of what we accomplish at work is not relevant to the next job we want. It’s hard to control what you do in your job (but you should try). However, you can control the work you do for free. So start with the bullet you want to write for that work, and then maneuver yourself backwards into the work.
4. You don’t have to do everything perfectly, just try
It’s very hard to do something outside of what you know you're good at. Usually, the first time is extremely difficult, which is why I suggest you do it for free. Give yourself freedom to execute on a plan to get that special bullet on your resume even if the execution is not great. Perfection is totally overrated, and just having the guts to make an effort is totally underrated.
The first speech I ever gave was at a business school. It was a disaster. I thought it was supposed to be ten minutes and it was slated for fifty minutes. The speech sucked. But when it came time to write the bullet, I could say that I “give speeches at business schools.” This opened the door for me to give speeches at lots of schools. (And, good news, they have all gone really well since then. Here’s one.)
5. Have patience
You will need at least a few months to envision the resume that will land you the job you want, and then gather the bullets you need for that. It requires planning, and commitment, and a leap of faith – in yourself.
But really, all three of those characteristics make a great employee, so maybe that will be a bullet for your resume, too.
Top 10 Things To Do If You are Unemployed
Top 10 Things to Do If You Become Unemployed
GET CLEAR:
1. Financial assessment
Begin by doing a thorough review of your current financial situation:
· What are your monthly necessities? (rent, utilities, food etc..)
· What is the amount that you will need to cover these necessities?
· What choices do you have to make to ensure that you cover your necessities for at least three months?
· What costs can you reduce immediately?
Hoard your cash. Look for opportunities to save money: eat at home, downgrade cable packages, buy less expensive brands, borrow books and movies from the library, consolidate debt into one low interest payment- there are myriad money saving tips - seek them out and apply them.
2. Self-assessment
You do have a job. You've just hired yourself as a full-time headhunter. Take the position seriously. This is a 9-5 job with daily objectives and weekly goals. That includes celebrating your successes with meaningful rewards. And, by the way, rejection is one of those successes. Use the interviewing process as a way to gain valuable information:
· What did you learn from the interview?
· What feedback did the recruiter give you for what you did well?
· What feedback did he/she give you for doing better the next time around?
· What did he/she say was missing?
Be Curious. This is your opportunity to learn valuable information about how people perceive you. If they don't give you any tips, ask for some. This feedback will help improve future performance.
5. Network
It is part of your headhunting role but important enough to single out on its own. Now is not the time to feel sorry for yourself, or let pride get in the way of letting people around you know that you are looking for a new position. Instead:
Frame Your Situation Positively: When networking, you don't need to share the sordid details of how you lost your job. You can say: "I am searching for a career that is going to allow me to contribute my best. I am letting you know because I trust you and I could use your help in making helpful connections. Here is my resume." This will yield better results than: "Sigh. I lost my job. Do you know anyone who's looking for people?"
Keep all channels open: Stay in touch with colleagues (particularly your manager) in your former organization as well as those who also lost their jobs. Re-hire opportunities may be more readily offered to those who've maintained contact, and people who've moved on could help you land a role at their new place of work.
6. Get your mindset right
· What are the 3 things you have been tolerating in your life?
· What would have to happen to ‘fix' these tolerances?
· How would it make you feel to address them?
Whatever you've been putting off in other areas of your life because you're "too busy working"- tackle it now. Not only will you feel productive when you tick these things off your list - it will also help reduce your stress. So, if every time you've stepped into your garage for the past seven years you've thought to yourself "I've got to get this place organized," get to it. If you've been planning that backyard garden, start digging.
GET GOING:
7. Expand your skills
Now is a great time to build your competency. What are the activities that you have a natural penchant for and interest in but no formal training? How about finally finishing your degree, learning a second language, honing an area of strength? Future employers will value the investment that you made in enhancing yourself enormously.
8. Take a platform job
There is no shame in taking on a job that helps you pay the bills even if it's not your ideal role or if it pays you less than previous positions. You are doing what it takes to take care of yourself and your family. No matter what role you are in, frame it as an opportunity to learn new skills, hone existing talents, meet and network with new people. There are a lot of benefits to taking a platform job while you continue the search for your ideal role.
9. Volunteer
Many organizations understand when a person has been out of work following a lay-off, particularly during times like these. They do not understand when a person has nothing concrete to show for that time. On top of contributing to your community, volunteering is a great way to demonstrate that you've shown initiative and not let your skills atrophy while you searched for gainful employment. Volunteering is also a very effective networking tool. You may meet a fellow volunteer who will be so impressed with your abilities they'll offer you work with their organization.
(Note: if you are receiving unemployment benefits, be clear whether volunteering impacts your eligibility. You may be considered "unavailable to work" on days when you're volunteering so you have to be very clear about when you will be available.)
10. Start your business.
Have you had an idea for a business that you've been working away on but never had the time to fully formalize? There are myriad free resources for individuals who want to start their own business and now you have the time to investigate and take advantage.
GET CLEAR:
1. Financial assessment
Begin by doing a thorough review of your current financial situation:
· What are your monthly necessities? (rent, utilities, food etc..)
· What is the amount that you will need to cover these necessities?
· What choices do you have to make to ensure that you cover your necessities for at least three months?
· What costs can you reduce immediately?
Hoard your cash. Look for opportunities to save money: eat at home, downgrade cable packages, buy less expensive brands, borrow books and movies from the library, consolidate debt into one low interest payment- there are myriad money saving tips - seek them out and apply them.
2. Self-assessment
Take this time to get really clear on what you want your next career step to be.
· What are your strengths?
· What are the activities that you want to be responsible for in your next job? What have you always (maybe secretly?) wanted to do?
· What aspects of your previous jobs have you loved? Why?
· What will you never do again?
Give yourself a chance to recharge and re-evaluate what you want to do in life and how you can best contribute. It can help a great deal to discuss this with someone who is objective: a coach, outplacement counselor, that friend who always listens without imposing their opinions.
GET READY:
3. Update your resume
Ensure your resume includes all relevant experiences and education, and then customize it for each specific job that you are applying for. Remember:
· Keep it simple. Flooding your resume with inane details is distracting.
· Highlight relevant experiences and describe them in quantifiable terms. Be specific about the results you have achieved and the contributions you have made to the business.
· Incorporate Company Terminology from the job posting into your resume. You raise your chances of having your resume noticed when you demonstrate that you know the organization's internal lingo.
Once you have updated your resume, connect with your references and let them know that you are job-searching. Only include those references that you are confident will give you a favorable review. If you're unsure, ask them.
4. Hire yourself as a headhunter
· What are your strengths?
· What are the activities that you want to be responsible for in your next job? What have you always (maybe secretly?) wanted to do?
· What aspects of your previous jobs have you loved? Why?
· What will you never do again?
Give yourself a chance to recharge and re-evaluate what you want to do in life and how you can best contribute. It can help a great deal to discuss this with someone who is objective: a coach, outplacement counselor, that friend who always listens without imposing their opinions.
GET READY:
3. Update your resume
Ensure your resume includes all relevant experiences and education, and then customize it for each specific job that you are applying for. Remember:
· Keep it simple. Flooding your resume with inane details is distracting.
· Highlight relevant experiences and describe them in quantifiable terms. Be specific about the results you have achieved and the contributions you have made to the business.
· Incorporate Company Terminology from the job posting into your resume. You raise your chances of having your resume noticed when you demonstrate that you know the organization's internal lingo.
Once you have updated your resume, connect with your references and let them know that you are job-searching. Only include those references that you are confident will give you a favorable review. If you're unsure, ask them.
4. Hire yourself as a headhunter
You do have a job. You've just hired yourself as a full-time headhunter. Take the position seriously. This is a 9-5 job with daily objectives and weekly goals. That includes celebrating your successes with meaningful rewards. And, by the way, rejection is one of those successes. Use the interviewing process as a way to gain valuable information:
· What did you learn from the interview?
· What feedback did the recruiter give you for what you did well?
· What feedback did he/she give you for doing better the next time around?
· What did he/she say was missing?
Be Curious. This is your opportunity to learn valuable information about how people perceive you. If they don't give you any tips, ask for some. This feedback will help improve future performance.
5. Network
It is part of your headhunting role but important enough to single out on its own. Now is not the time to feel sorry for yourself, or let pride get in the way of letting people around you know that you are looking for a new position. Instead:
Frame Your Situation Positively: When networking, you don't need to share the sordid details of how you lost your job. You can say: "I am searching for a career that is going to allow me to contribute my best. I am letting you know because I trust you and I could use your help in making helpful connections. Here is my resume." This will yield better results than: "Sigh. I lost my job. Do you know anyone who's looking for people?"
Keep all channels open: Stay in touch with colleagues (particularly your manager) in your former organization as well as those who also lost their jobs. Re-hire opportunities may be more readily offered to those who've maintained contact, and people who've moved on could help you land a role at their new place of work.
6. Get your mindset right
Having a confident mental attitude serves one immensely in the process of finding a new role. This is not just about thinking positively, this is about acting positively. Part of your weekly goals should include removing things that you've been tolerating in your life that have added to your stress.
· What are the 3 things you have been tolerating in your life?
· What would have to happen to ‘fix' these tolerances?
· How would it make you feel to address them?
Whatever you've been putting off in other areas of your life because you're "too busy working"- tackle it now. Not only will you feel productive when you tick these things off your list - it will also help reduce your stress. So, if every time you've stepped into your garage for the past seven years you've thought to yourself "I've got to get this place organized," get to it. If you've been planning that backyard garden, start digging.
GET GOING:
7. Expand your skills
Now is a great time to build your competency. What are the activities that you have a natural penchant for and interest in but no formal training? How about finally finishing your degree, learning a second language, honing an area of strength? Future employers will value the investment that you made in enhancing yourself enormously.
8. Take a platform job
There is no shame in taking on a job that helps you pay the bills even if it's not your ideal role or if it pays you less than previous positions. You are doing what it takes to take care of yourself and your family. No matter what role you are in, frame it as an opportunity to learn new skills, hone existing talents, meet and network with new people. There are a lot of benefits to taking a platform job while you continue the search for your ideal role.
9. Volunteer
Many organizations understand when a person has been out of work following a lay-off, particularly during times like these. They do not understand when a person has nothing concrete to show for that time. On top of contributing to your community, volunteering is a great way to demonstrate that you've shown initiative and not let your skills atrophy while you searched for gainful employment. Volunteering is also a very effective networking tool. You may meet a fellow volunteer who will be so impressed with your abilities they'll offer you work with their organization.
(Note: if you are receiving unemployment benefits, be clear whether volunteering impacts your eligibility. You may be considered "unavailable to work" on days when you're volunteering so you have to be very clear about when you will be available.)
10. Start your business.
Have you had an idea for a business that you've been working away on but never had the time to fully formalize? There are myriad free resources for individuals who want to start their own business and now you have the time to investigate and take advantage.
5 Things to Do When You're Unemployed. Hint: It's Not Job Hunting
A Penelope Trunk Article
Let’s say you get fired, or laid off, or you quit because after two weeks you know you’re at the worst company on the planet. In all of those cases, you will face the interview question: What happened at your last job?
Here’s the answer you should always give: “I left to do x.” And you fill in for x.
Which brings me to what you should be really focusing on when you are unemployed: Learning and growing. Because this is what you are going to talk about in job interviews.
Most people require about six months to get another job. This is a big chunk of time that you can piss away sending resumes to Monster and wondering why no one responds. But you cannot job hunt for eight hours a day. Really. You’ll go nuts. (Wait. Here’s a time-saving job hunt tip from my mom.)
So spend the time creating projects for yourself and executing on them. This is good for you mentally – because you are doing something meaningful with your time and that will keep your spirits up.
But this is also good for you in your job hunt. Because when you talk about why you left the last company, you spin it in a positive light by talking about how you are excited about doing what you are doing. Your interview should include you telling a good story about focused personal growth, and no one will get stuck on why you left your last job. Here are five ways to set that story up:
1. Create a job for yourself.
These projects can be wide ranging, but they have to show that you are driven, ambitious and focused. During one stint of unemployment, I worked for free for my boyfriend’s company for a couple of hours a day. That way I didn’t actually have a gap in my resume; a resume doesn’t show part-time or full-time and it doesn’t show pay or no pay. So volunteering at my boyfriend’s company for a couple of hours a day ended up looking like a full-time job on my resume.
2. Focus on ambition and execution and not so much on work per se.
Another time I got laid off I spent my days learning to swing dance. I took one or two lessons a day and practiced at night, and after my six months of job hunting, I was good enough to teach dancing just off Broadway. I didn’t put that on my resume, but when people asked me why I left my job, I told them about how I gave myself time to fulfill lofty goals as a swing dancer.
3. Start a blog about the industry you want to go into.
Blogging is a great way to keep up in your industry, network without looking desperate, and leverage the fact that you have more time on your hands that people who have jobs.
Everyone who is unemployed should be blogging as a way to get their next job. Put your ideas out into the world and connect with people that way. This is why you want to be hired, right? For your ideas. So show them. The reason that people who blog have great careers is that bloggers are always thinking about issues in their industry. Show that side of yourself to people. Blogging takes a lot of time, sure. Bu you have a lot of time. So use it. Here’s my guide for how to start a blog.
4. Start a company.
Do you have a company idea? Try it now. During unemployment. There’s nothing stopping you. You have time, and you can try ideas to see which one sticks.
Also, whether or not your company does well, you’ll be able to talk about it in an interview as a huge learning moment that will deflect from any problems at your last job.
The company that never got out of your parent’s basement can sit on your resume as professionally as a stint in the Fortune 500. It’s all about how you write the bullet points: talk about accomplishments and learning.
5. Practice talking about yourself with everyone.
High performers practice for interviews. So now you know what you’re aiming for, but you need to talk about it with everyone – parties, at the gym, on the phone with friends. When they ask how you’re doing, talk about what you’re doing like you are in the job interview.
And the good news is that the better you get at talking like that, the more you will actually believe your story, the story that being unemployed is lucky because you have learning opportunities.
What’s important to remember here is that no one can tell you what experience you can gain and what you can’t. You don’t need a job in order to learn cool stuff and be on cool projects. You control what you do with your time and you can make it useful. Talk about that. There is no reason to talk about why the last job didn’t work when you can talk about the great things that leaving opened up to you.
Let’s say you get fired, or laid off, or you quit because after two weeks you know you’re at the worst company on the planet. In all of those cases, you will face the interview question: What happened at your last job?
Here’s the answer you should always give: “I left to do x.” And you fill in for x.
Which brings me to what you should be really focusing on when you are unemployed: Learning and growing. Because this is what you are going to talk about in job interviews.
Most people require about six months to get another job. This is a big chunk of time that you can piss away sending resumes to Monster and wondering why no one responds. But you cannot job hunt for eight hours a day. Really. You’ll go nuts. (Wait. Here’s a time-saving job hunt tip from my mom.)
So spend the time creating projects for yourself and executing on them. This is good for you mentally – because you are doing something meaningful with your time and that will keep your spirits up.
But this is also good for you in your job hunt. Because when you talk about why you left the last company, you spin it in a positive light by talking about how you are excited about doing what you are doing. Your interview should include you telling a good story about focused personal growth, and no one will get stuck on why you left your last job. Here are five ways to set that story up:
1. Create a job for yourself.
These projects can be wide ranging, but they have to show that you are driven, ambitious and focused. During one stint of unemployment, I worked for free for my boyfriend’s company for a couple of hours a day. That way I didn’t actually have a gap in my resume; a resume doesn’t show part-time or full-time and it doesn’t show pay or no pay. So volunteering at my boyfriend’s company for a couple of hours a day ended up looking like a full-time job on my resume.
2. Focus on ambition and execution and not so much on work per se.
Another time I got laid off I spent my days learning to swing dance. I took one or two lessons a day and practiced at night, and after my six months of job hunting, I was good enough to teach dancing just off Broadway. I didn’t put that on my resume, but when people asked me why I left my job, I told them about how I gave myself time to fulfill lofty goals as a swing dancer.
3. Start a blog about the industry you want to go into.
Blogging is a great way to keep up in your industry, network without looking desperate, and leverage the fact that you have more time on your hands that people who have jobs.
Everyone who is unemployed should be blogging as a way to get their next job. Put your ideas out into the world and connect with people that way. This is why you want to be hired, right? For your ideas. So show them. The reason that people who blog have great careers is that bloggers are always thinking about issues in their industry. Show that side of yourself to people. Blogging takes a lot of time, sure. Bu you have a lot of time. So use it. Here’s my guide for how to start a blog.
4. Start a company.
Do you have a company idea? Try it now. During unemployment. There’s nothing stopping you. You have time, and you can try ideas to see which one sticks.
Also, whether or not your company does well, you’ll be able to talk about it in an interview as a huge learning moment that will deflect from any problems at your last job.
The company that never got out of your parent’s basement can sit on your resume as professionally as a stint in the Fortune 500. It’s all about how you write the bullet points: talk about accomplishments and learning.
5. Practice talking about yourself with everyone.
High performers practice for interviews. So now you know what you’re aiming for, but you need to talk about it with everyone – parties, at the gym, on the phone with friends. When they ask how you’re doing, talk about what you’re doing like you are in the job interview.
And the good news is that the better you get at talking like that, the more you will actually believe your story, the story that being unemployed is lucky because you have learning opportunities.
What’s important to remember here is that no one can tell you what experience you can gain and what you can’t. You don’t need a job in order to learn cool stuff and be on cool projects. You control what you do with your time and you can make it useful. Talk about that. There is no reason to talk about why the last job didn’t work when you can talk about the great things that leaving opened up to you.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
10 Ways to Start Living a More Meaningful Life
Too many of us live like goldfish, swimming in the same orbit day in and day out feeling uninspired, tired, bored and sometimes worse. Life is much too precious to waste that way.
Every person has a unique purpose in life. I implore you not to waste your days berating yourself for what you don’t know and don’t do well.
Instead, discover your strengths, passions, purpose and build your life on those.
Here are 10 ideas about living a meaningful life, as I understand them. Embracing even a few of these will help you begin the exciting journey of self discovery.
1. We are all here for a purpose
Your being here makes a difference. Your purpose may be obscure to you and a challenge to discover. Start now. There are many resources, coaches and books to help you with this endeavor.
2. The secret to fulfillment is self knowledge. Start the exciting journey of discovery.
3. The second part of the secret to fulfillment is to apply your self knowledge to what you do and how you live.
The more you know, the more you can actively pursue your true purpose.
4. Don’t waste time lamenting what you don’t do well.
Concentrate on your strengths. Those reflect who you are. Leave the other things to people who do them well.
5. Build on your strengths.
Do more of them and give yourself recognition for doing the things you do well.
6. Pay attention to the small details that you enjoy in your everyday life. Do more of them.
7. Pay attention to the small details you don’t enjoy.
Find ways (such as delegation) to eliminate as many of them as possible.
8. Keep a journal and put particular emphasis on the things about yourself and events in your life for which you are grateful.
9. Make an effort to release the negative aspects of your past.
Try not be imprisoned by your past. Do not define yourself by your past.
10. Jumpstart your self-esteem by giving back to the community.
Volunteer in a meaningful way that suits who you are and your interests.
Enjoy the journey.You will get to know and like yourself in a whole new way.
Every person has a unique purpose in life. I implore you not to waste your days berating yourself for what you don’t know and don’t do well.
Instead, discover your strengths, passions, purpose and build your life on those.
 |
| Photo by Martin Gommel |
Here are 10 ideas about living a meaningful life, as I understand them. Embracing even a few of these will help you begin the exciting journey of self discovery.
1. We are all here for a purpose
Your being here makes a difference. Your purpose may be obscure to you and a challenge to discover. Start now. There are many resources, coaches and books to help you with this endeavor.
2. The secret to fulfillment is self knowledge. Start the exciting journey of discovery.
3. The second part of the secret to fulfillment is to apply your self knowledge to what you do and how you live.
The more you know, the more you can actively pursue your true purpose.
4. Don’t waste time lamenting what you don’t do well.
Concentrate on your strengths. Those reflect who you are. Leave the other things to people who do them well.
5. Build on your strengths.
Do more of them and give yourself recognition for doing the things you do well.
6. Pay attention to the small details that you enjoy in your everyday life. Do more of them.
7. Pay attention to the small details you don’t enjoy.
Find ways (such as delegation) to eliminate as many of them as possible.
8. Keep a journal and put particular emphasis on the things about yourself and events in your life for which you are grateful.
9. Make an effort to release the negative aspects of your past.
Try not be imprisoned by your past. Do not define yourself by your past.
10. Jumpstart your self-esteem by giving back to the community.
Volunteer in a meaningful way that suits who you are and your interests.
Enjoy the journey.You will get to know and like yourself in a whole new way.
Work with a friend, hire a coach, and use the resources out there, to help you with objectivity.Have someone point out the good things about you that you have a tendency to overlook.
As soon as you stop doing what you hate and start doing what you love, you may find your life more meaningful and fulfilling.
Article on meaningful, life by Dr. Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D.
Article on meaningful, life by Dr. Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D.
Saturday, 1 May 2010
Questions to Ponder On
Meaningful & Exciting moments in Adult Life
From 18 to today, what were your greatest moments at home?
How about your greatest moments at work?
Leisure hours:
Social Lives/Friendships:
Search your youth:
Craft a Vision Statement
From 18 to today, what were your greatest moments at home?
How about your greatest moments at work?
Leisure hours:
- What motivates your interests?
- What part did you enjoy?
Social Lives/Friendships:
- What part did you enjoy?
- What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with?
- What kind of contacts have been most satisfying?
- What skills and personality traits comes alive?
Search your youth:
- What did you dream about doing with your life?
Craft a Vision Statement
Strengths: Become Who You Were Meant to Be
I read an interesting article, “The Best You” by Dennis W. Easter.
The writer examines how people spend their lives focusing on improving their weaknesses instead of maximizing their strengths. Dennis W. Easter notes, “Why this obsession in our culture to try and be something we are not? I’m not arguing that areas of weaknesses shouldn’t be addressed or even neutralized where they are destructive. What I am arguing for is refocusing of efforts to become the best version of ourselves.”
In other words, one can achieve greater results by discovering intrinsic strengths then to pursue the improvement of personal weaknesses with minimal results.
Discover how you’re wired and foster a healthier lifestyle. Stop sacrificing to overcome your lack of natural ability, instead play to your strengths and make the most of your life.
For example, I am not a good singer. The fantasy of being some rock star is fun, but the pursuit of that dream is unrealistic.
Here are a few tips from his Article:
1. Listen to your yearnings. Pay attention to your heart, passions and what excites you and examine false aspirations. Dump unhealthy messages and distorted thoughts.
2. Sense moments of satisfactions. Focus on value. Don’t lead yourself to an emotional burnout by working hard at something in which you are not gifted and has low value.
3. Recognize what you learn quickly. Find out what you’re good at and what engages your attention. Tune into your “learning style” since it is crucial to maximize your efforts. Question, “Works for me and what doesn’t?”
4. Note where growth is lasting. He adds, “Sustained growth is a good sign of a strength of talent. The opposite is to obsess over our weaknesses as we seek to develop them… Get over yourself and leverage your strengths to develop your talents rather than trying to hold up something you really don’t do well.”
5. Keep a lookout for areas of excellence others see in you. Self-awareness is productive when responsibility is taken. Don’t be a poor sport, take responsibility and don’t blame people for your failures. Evaluate constructive feedback and seize those opportunities. He notes, “When you get that kind of glimpse of excellence in your life or in someone else’s, fan those embers into a flame.”
6. Find grace in weakness. I end with this tip. Don’t beat yourself up. If one method isn’t working for you, try, try again. Life is a journey, embrace grace for strength.
In essence, play to your strengths, and become who you were meant to be, by discovering your intrinsic strengths and maximizing them. With that said, don’t be someone you’re not. Live life and prosper.
